My HeArt, My FeAr

I seriously dunno wat i really wan in my life. My uncertainty hurt alot of person around me, hurting those I loved. I feel so insecure, everyday I fear that my world will collaspe and I will lose everything within a second.
Ask me whether I love u... yes I love you but I even fear of you. Fear that my nite mare will come true, fear that you will repeat your mistake, fear to be with you, fear that you dun love me anymore, fear that I might give up on you, fear that you walk off one day, fear to be in a world without you, fear of your lies, more fears and nv ending fears will come along.
Marriage seems to be a word tt is so unfamiliar. I use to be a very naive gal thinking tt you will cfm be the one but u hurt me deeply... why do u wan to do tt? I keep asking myself this qn but no one answer me cos there wont be an answer.
If I give up, will I have the courage to go into another relationship again without doubting another party. Will I be happy? I'm going into my mid 20s soon which is quite scary as time is moving really fast and I cannot keep up to the pace.
One happy thing to share with everyone, I got a god brother... keke nv think tt I will have a brother to dote me & listen to my nonsenses.

Bangkok

I just come bac from my bangkok trip on Sun. Overall it was considered fun, fun in the sense of nv expect the unexpected... haha I tot I will nv take the tutu taxi again but since my colleagues wan, I have no choice.... This time round i sat in the middle thus feel super protected, not as scare compared to the last time.

I went chinatown for seafood, it was my first time there. During the previous trip, I have no time to go due to spending too much time on shopping. Have alot of yummy food there too like shark fin, bird nest and crab beehoon. I dun think the bird nest are real cos I din get esthma attack after eating.. keke Next time if wanna test whether the bird nest are real or fake can find me...

Long WeeKenD

I can't concentrate in office today, feel like a walking zombie, one work day juz passed without me knowing what happen to the surrounding. I'm confined in a room room, not knowing what's happening to the outside world, not knowing whether the weather outside is rainy or sunny. I seriously have to get out of that place, as each day passed, I felt more n more lonely and gloomy. I no longer looking forward to anything, my life is juz a blank piece of paper, I become more n more anti-social.

Went shopping on sun and Mon, I usually enjoyed every of my shopping trip cos I sure will get myself some new clothes or new stuff during each trip. Dunno from when I start to hate shopping, I hate to see the crowd, I hate to to be in the crowd too.... What happen to me??? I juz wish to get of things fast, walk fast, eat fast, do fast... my pace of life is getting faster than I can catch up. Someone please save me!

Had an early mother's day celebration cos I wont be in singapore for mother's day. I'm going bangkok again. Hope I can relax ,enjoy myself and escape from the cruel and stressful life in singapore. Brought my mom to Ding Tai Fung to eat la mian, she herself say if I got money then bring her to eat better food, if no money food court oso can... keke She bought me a top( still using her money although I'm working already) ... hoho

Koala bear promise me a Phin's steakhse treat but after we reach the place, realised Phin has turn into Westbarn instead so we had our dinner in Westbarn. I make some noise cos I wanna eat phin so Koala bear ended up owning me another treat... haha which is billy bombers on mon... thanks thanks