My HeArt, My FeAr

I seriously dunno wat i really wan in my life. My uncertainty hurt alot of person around me, hurting those I loved. I feel so insecure, everyday I fear that my world will collaspe and I will lose everything within a second.
Ask me whether I love u... yes I love you but I even fear of you. Fear that my nite mare will come true, fear that you will repeat your mistake, fear to be with you, fear that you dun love me anymore, fear that I might give up on you, fear that you walk off one day, fear to be in a world without you, fear of your lies, more fears and nv ending fears will come along.
Marriage seems to be a word tt is so unfamiliar. I use to be a very naive gal thinking tt you will cfm be the one but u hurt me deeply... why do u wan to do tt? I keep asking myself this qn but no one answer me cos there wont be an answer.
If I give up, will I have the courage to go into another relationship again without doubting another party. Will I be happy? I'm going into my mid 20s soon which is quite scary as time is moving really fast and I cannot keep up to the pace.
One happy thing to share with everyone, I got a god brother... keke nv think tt I will have a brother to dote me & listen to my nonsenses.